Never fear. Looks like Iran’s next. I’ll bet my left… shoe that America is involved in a military action against Iran before the election. And I’ll bet my right one that it’s timed to spike approval ratings of Bush just before the election. Or at least close enough so that anyone who doubts Kerry’s commitment to military action will swing to Bush, just to avoid installing a namby-pamby peacenik in office when what America needs is a hard-assed Republican who’s not afraid to do what needs to be done.

Crap.

When I first saw him, he was Ludwig von Ludwig. Then he realized that the universe is a plutonium atom and changed his name to Ludwig Plutonium. After that, every year, he would stand on the middle of the Dartmouth Green and enact a ritual to celebrate the anniversary of his insight into the nature of the universe. Lately he’s known as Archimedes Plutonium, and he just popped up as a blip on the WWW, here, on Bifurcated Rivets.

He used to only wear a bright orange hunting jacket and cap and… waders. He wore waders …

I was just relishing how great it is that our wedding ceremony is not going to be like this unselfconscious caricature of California weddings, when I noticed that, in one respect, the couple in question actually found a way to do something better than we did it. I am happy with where we registered, but I think I might have liked TheThingsIWant.com a little better. Basically it’s a ‘blank slate registry’ service that lets you consolidate a wish list from multiplie online retailers. Great idea!

Just wish they advertised more.

Something Awful has photoshopped Alan Moore’s The Watchmen. Hilarity has ensued.

Why…it’s the much-loved and infinitely admired best man and drinking buddy, Nick Gaffney and his incomparable weblog View From Baxter.

Nice to see genius noticed every now and then!

The fascinating Colonial practice of “bundling” revealed. Young men often had to ride quite a ways to visit the young women they had their sights on. A Dutch tradition that gained popularity in the Colonies, bundling involved sewing the young man into the bed sheets, sometimes side by side with the woman he was calling on. Yowza!

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

Please don’t try and get me to speak on the big (wedding) day. I will only be capable of emitting two sentences, because those are the only things I’m going to be thinking:

“I’m getting married today.”

and

“Today, I am getting married.”