Sometime, perhaps mid-lip-mash, most likely in fact, come to think of it, some few thousand of the more restless, or perhaps merely promiscuouser, bacilli resident in Jason Mulvey’s left eye had crossed the interbody gap and colonized her own right eye, or so the crusted mucus binding her lashes shut seemed to strongly suggest upon waking. She hated conjunctivitis, and she also hated Jason Mulvey, the two hatreds interweaved caeduceus-like about the core, such as it was, of her morning’s first thoughts, each viper inflaming, inciting and invigorating the other. Thusly bound to the double-helices of unshakable resentment and profligately …

I can’t help but think what an approximately perfect psychological profile might be provided by an analytic breakdown of a person’s mail set, the statistics of all your past email for the past, say, five years. If you measure frequencies of who sent what to you, who you sent what, keywords, attachments, thread length, conversation time frame, those sorts of things, I think you’d get an incomplete but still pretty revealing picture of yourself. Furthermore, if you went ahead and tagged senders/recipients (mom, dad, bff, girlfriend, spouse, boss, co-worker, etc), I think you’d have a pretty dead-on …

The flagrant extravagance of his semicolon usage augured no good. His increasing dependence on arcane punctuation was known to us, but not publicly acknowledged. We sanded, lathed, turned, buffed, cut, sawed, and varnished as each of our passions commanded, kept our heads down, our eyes on our work, and tried our best to convince ourselves, It’s just me, I’m imagining it, or I’m making a mountain of a molehill. Not until Witwer snared his palm on the sharper point of one semicolon’s constituent comma, not until that bright red blood raced outward following the …

Google Docs now works in Safari. Hosanna and glory be. I’m not sure how long this has been so: our primary-colored overlords never tell me ANYthing. Without espousing any particular religion/OS (ok, I’m agnostic, with Mac-leaning tendencies), I have to admit that anything that makes Firefox more practical for me to use than Safari, I kind of take it as a personal affront. Every time a friend sees me using Safari, it’s “Safari?! I would think that you, most supremely awesome champion of super-awesome people everywhere, of all people would surely use Firefox. Why, …